How Boudoir Photography Can Change The World

To most, boudoir photography might just be another genre of photography that exists in the vast sea of photography genres.  A Boudoir photographer is just another person with a camera trying to make a dime.

But to me it is something magical that can change the very world we live in.

Imagine if more people had better self-confidence.  Imagine how happy and fulfilled people would be?  It’s a widely known fact in the psychology world that when people are happy and feel confident in their own self, they are able to show up as happy, confident and fulfilled humans for those around them. 

Here are some ways that having self-confidence can help people live their best lives:

• Less Fear and Anxiety.  When you’re full of self-doubt you tend to mull over decisions and always divert to the worst-case scenario.  Your vocabulary becomes full of “can’t” as you focus on the mistakes you *think* you would make.  This leads to becoming withdrawn, depressed and full of anxiety.  The more confidence you have in yourself, the better you are able to break the cycle of depression, fear and anxiety.
• Pride.  Pride is the good feeling that everyone somehow makes out to be a villain, but its definitely NOT! Its kinda like the guy from Home Alone that Kevin is terrified of, until he gets to know him and realize he is really just a good guy!  When you are full of self-doubt, you are way less likely to try to push yourself out of your comfort zone and try new things.  You stay stagnant because you’re too busy thinking about the *possible* negative outcomes or the “what-if’s”.  When you have the confidence in yourself and your abilities, you tend to try new things and push the bar outside of your comfort zone.  When you accomplish the things you set out to do, you feel an intense sense of pride that you stuck with something, despite challenges or setbacks, and you did something that makes you proud.
• Better Coping Mechanisms.  Being confident does not mean you won’t ever fail.  In fact, as you try new things, you’ll probably fail more than you succeed at first.  Think of the baby learning to walk for the first time.  They are wobbly and usually end up on their butts more often than the walk any distance.  But they are confident that they can and will do it, so they pull themselves up again, or crawl to the nearest thing they can pull up on, and give it another go. Next thing you know, your little baby is a grown ass human going off to college.  Imagine if that sweet baby gave up the first time they fell?  Imagine if they said “well, this walking sh!t just isn’t for me, I’m a failure”.  When you are not confident in your own skills and abilities, you are often paralyzed by challenges and setbacks.  You don’t try to work around them.  Then you stay permanently disappointed with your own situation.  When you have confidence, you have the ability to see those molehills for what they truly are and you are better able to come up with solutions that are not clouded by self-doubt.  You know that growth comes when we are out of our comfort zone when we make the mistakes that we can learn from.
• Better Relationships.  This one can seem kinda strange at first.  Often times, those filled with doubt criticize confident people for being “full of themselves” but its actually quite opposite.  The more confidence you have, the better you are able to “show up” for those around you and have meaningful and engaging relationships because you actually are LESS focused on yourself because you KNOW you are capable and don’t have anything to prove.  You don’t waste precious moments comparing yourself to everyone or wondering what everyone thinks of you.  You NEVER base your own value on others’ opinions of you because you know your own value. That means you would be less likely to end up in abusive or narcissistic relationships and more likely to end up in happy and fulfilling relationships (be them platonic, familial or romantic!).  Your circle becomes a source of positivity because birds of a feather flock together!  Next time you’re with a group of people, listen carefully to the conversations – if it’s all complaining and criticizing, it might be time to get a new circle.
• Improved Sense Of Self-Worth.  When you are confident, you are able to acknowledge and accept your weaknesses without taking a hit to your self-worth.  You are also better able to celebrate your strengths and utilize them to your best advantage. You can stand up for what you believe in and more importantly, you can stand up for YOURSELF.  You know what you are worth and you won’t accept anything less from anyone in your life.

People burdened with self-doubt are often more critical of others.  They will often insult and criticize others in an effort to make themselves “feel” better about themselves.  A mom who was criticized as a child will often criticize her own children.  Her children then become the bullies that criticize others…and the cycle continues.  But just like toxicity breeds, so does positivity.  By breaking the cycle of toxicity and replacing it with confidence and positivity you become the person who compliments and accepts others, who then get boosts to their own self-confidence and are more likely to support and compliment others.

Like the great Martin Luther King, Jr said “Darkness cannot drive out darkness; Only light can do that”

Now, back to Boudoir.  So you might be thinking “How can a boudoir photoshoot help me to be more confident and have all the things you just said”. 

I’m so glad you asked!

A Boudoir Session is a gigantic push out of most peoples’ comfort zones.  Like we are told from the time we are young not to get naked in front of strangers, let alone a stranger with a camera (HI!).  So of course you’re nervous going into a boudoir shoot.  Your voices of self-doubt whisper a little louder “I can’t possibly look as good as those girls”, “There’s no way I’ll even like my photos, I HATE photos of myself”, “I’m way to fat, Victoria’s Secret models are rail thin”, “I don’t even have modeling experience”.  I literally know this is what you’re thinking.  This is what everyone thinks as they are considering booking a boudoir photoshoot.

But, for those people who can silence the voices enough to follow through with the session, and fight the nerves just long enough to get to the first click of the shutter- they get to experience some transformative magic.

When I show the first image on the back of my camera jaws fly open.  Disbelief sets in.  “That’s not me”.  No, honey, it 100% IS you!  This is what I (and everyone else around you) sees!  This is the view of you that is not clouded by self-doubt and years of being force fed unattainable standards of beauty.

Confidence ensues.

As the session goes by, and you see more images from the back of the camera, your nerves magically disappear, you settle in and SLAY the absolute heck out of your session.  You even start complimenting yourself “OMG I LOVE THAT ONE!”.

When the session sadly comes to an end, and your clothes are back on and you are headed out, you walk with a different step than when you came in.  Your chin is held a little bit higher.  You look, dare I say it, HAPPY.

You have just totally succeeded in doing something that you thought was so far out of your ability.  You pushed yourself and you grew as a result.  Now, maybe you believe in yourself just a little bit more to start taking on other challenges. Whether you realize it or not, you have also become an inspiration to other people (that ALWAYS feels good!).

I can talk all this but I’m sure some of you still have a little bit of doubt.  Totally normal, I don’t take offense.  I have now had the pleasure of having multiple sessions with a few women.  Don’t just take it from me, but even my regular hair and make up artist (hey Kaylee!!) says there is a noticeable difference each and every time someone comes back to the studio.  Like the air around them is lighter.

So, as you can see, a boudoir photography session is directly related to building your confidence.  When you have confidence you are happy.  When you’re happy, you build up those around you.  When you build up those around you they are happier.  Happy people aren’t assholes!  The less assholes we have, the better the world will be!

 So there you have it.  Boudoir is changing the world for the better!

I’ve you’ve ever considered a Boudoir Photoshoot, I would love to connect with you!